The Marshmallow Problem
DR SHAADY HARRISON | 3 minutes
Word got out.
In the 1960s, scientists ran an experiment which would become one of the most famous stories in psychology.
It went like this.
A group of preschoolers were brought into a room one by one and shown a marshmallow on a table.
They could have one marshmallow now, or two when the researcher came back to the room.
What followed didn’t disappoint. A few stared it dead in the eye, keeping completely still. Some covered their eyes, turned away or started singing to distract themselves. Others reached out and grabbed it straight away.
But fast forward a few decades and things got interesting.
The kids who waited seemed to outperform the rest in later life. Could everything from physical fitness to financial stability really be predicted by a marshmallow?
The Instant Era
Our lives are shaped by our ability to trade small comforts now for more valuable payoffs later.
But we’re now living in a world that treats waiting like a design flaw.
We’re surrounded by systems designed to remove friction.
Food arrives in minutes, packages turn up the following day, and the next episode loads before we’ve even decided whether we want to watch it or not.
The space between wanting and having is disappearing before our eyes.
But this seamless convenience comes at a cost. Our brains are constantly learning what to expect from the world, and they’re starting to expect results without delay.
The less often we wait, the less familiar waiting becomes.
We’ve built a world that tells us waiting is a bug in the system.
Every important thing in life suggests otherwise.
The Long Game
Modern life is actively training us away from delayed gratification.
When everything arrives quickly, anything that doesn’t starts to feel like it’s taking too long.
But the most important pursuits in life take time.
They build slowly, in ways that are almost impossible to notice in real time.
In other words, they all rely on waiting.
Worth The Wait
Delayed gratification is one of the most effective personal traits of successful people. It drives everything from early morning runs to putting money aside that won’t be seen for a decade.
Thankfully, it turns out our ability to wait isn’t locked in by the age of five.
Our relationship with waiting is shaped by the world we grew up in – whether promises were kept and time tended to deliver.
But most importantly, it isn’t set in stone.
Delayed gratification is a skill which can be learned. Whether this looks like waiting ten seconds before checking a notification or sticking with something tough long enough to see it through, you’re playing the same game.
Training yourself to resist a small reward now in exchange for a bigger one later defines success in almost every avenue of life.
With this in mind, the question remains.
Would you like one marshmallow, or two?
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Mischel, W. (2014). The marshmallow test: Understanding self-control and how to master it. Random House.
Seeyave, D. M., Coleman, S., Appugliese, D., Corwyn, R. F., Bradley, R. H., Davidson, N. S., & Lumeng, J. C. (2009). Ability to delay gratification at age 4 years and risk of overweight at age 11 years. Archives of pediatrics & adolescent medicine, 163(4), 303-308.
Mischel, W., & Ebbesen, E. B. (1970). Attention in delay of gratification. Journal of personality and social psychology, 16(2), 329.
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About The Author
Shaady Harrison is a British medical doctor, writer and private advisor specialising in the intersection of psychology, calm and performance.